I don't even know how to start. Been off the radar for a month straight. To be honest, it has been and still is an extremely stressful period, full of moving, transitioning (not like Caitlyn!), adjusting, realizing, analyzing, exhaustion. And I ain't even got a proper vacation!
I'm not complaining (actually, I am, but it's all justified), I moved into a house, I have more space to myself and I even got a dog - something I've been wanting since the age of 4. So yes, there are many positive things in here and I know that new beginnings are rough and take time, but I must admit I did not expect it would be so time-consuming slash nerve-breaking.
I realized many things.
First of all, I'm a bit spoiled. Even though I consider myself very modest, I've been a passive-aggressive drama queen for a month when I realized this summer's not going to be how I imagined it to be (full of travelling and adventures). First I was disappointed. After many days of psychoanalyzing mysef, I realized that I'm very lucky to have been able to travel every year. Obviously I get carried away easily by my expectations. And then make a big fuss and act like a spoiled brat.
Second. Sometimes I just need to chill out. I love my routines and stick to them with great satisfaction. Classes, trainings, food, almost every single aspect of my life has a routine. This July I didn't have much time to breathe properly, so any form of routine was out of the question. I felt like I was drowning without them. At this point I need to learn to balance my life better, but without pressuring myself. Routines can be a good thing if you don't become a slave to them.
Third. a) I'm very grateful for everything I have, but I wasn't actually saying 'thank you' as often as I thought. And in the time of crysis, these simple two words are just what people need to hear.
b) I expect people to tell me 'thank you' way more than I say it to them.
Fourth. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with my life. I know, you don't have to figure out your life in your twenties, but still it makes me wonder when I'll know exactly what I want from it.
Fifth. I clean and do housework like a pro. Also I'm a great interior designer/stylist/decorator. My intuition is great when it comes to aesthetics. I should get paid for this.
Sixth. Dog. Poop. Everywhere.